Respecting Your Spouse

Brad & Tiffany talk about what it means to respect your spouse and things that are disrespectful that you may not be aware of. 

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SPEAKER_00 0:17

Hey, good morning. Good morning. It's Brad. I'm with my wife, Tiffany. Good morning, Tiffany.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Good morning.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

We are the authors in the Hustle and Flow podcast. And so we just want to uh thank you for listening this morning. We're going to talk this morning about when to use the fire emoji on social media when it comes to the opposite sex. We're going to talk about how to go to your mother-in-law's, and we're going to talk about maybe buying a car. So uh we're actually going to talk about respecting your spouse. It's going to be a good topic. I'm excited about it. We've really been uh we've been talking about this, I don't know, the past week or two, and uh we're gonna bring it bring to fruition this morning. But uh went to the cabin last week, got to go spend some time with all of our adult kids at the uh at our cabin. And uh I listen, if you have adult kids, if you don't have adult kids, um then you won't quite understand this, but you will as they get older. Um our kids argue and fuss and fight, and usually somebody wants to say something and they start getting into it. And so I instituted a rule last week, and I said, You are not going to argue and fight, and nobody's gonna get mad, and nobody we're not saying anything. I said so a couple of times I had to say, Hey, hey, hey, rule two. You know, I think I put down two rules or something. But rule two. And uh we had a really good time at the cabin. Uh we were able to just uh hang out and did some did top golf. We played some uh cornhole, I'm undefeated. Nobody beat me while I was there. Didn't matter the partner I had, I was still undefeated because I'm a bad man.

SPEAKER_03 1:49

Yeah, but your partner, me, kind of helped you on some of those.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

A blind squirrel. A blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while, I can tell you. I'm actually pretty good. But uh you know, I I I say that. You made your first TikTok TikTok shop purchase, and uh you were able to make us something while we were there. What what what did you make?

SPEAKER_03 2:10

So people call this different things. I'm gonna just call it what I know to call it, and it's wrong, but berea. Um we made biria tacos. Yeah. And they were amazing. Some people call it berea. I don't care how you call it. It's B-A-R-R-I-A. But I did, I bought the um the bombs, they're called easy bombs from TikTok shop. And you know, you're supposed to buy so many different ingredients to go in this and you let it simmer all day long. But these bombs this lady um created, you can put them in there. You don't have to buy one more thing, and they were amazing. It was absolutely it was, yeah, I'm thinking about those now.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

So if you got a TikTok shop, guess what? It works because my wife is not an impulsive buyer. I'm not. And for her to buy this off of TikTok and and to make but I will say this, like they were excellent. Like I've been I've been thinking about those since we left uh the cabin. It was it was really, really good.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

I hate that it's not one of those products that you just go run. I I'm sure they will be on the shelf eventually, but I hate it's not one of those things you can just go run and grab.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Yeah. Well, and maybe whoever whoever sold these can put these together because that would be uh that'd be a great, great thing to have. But we had a good time. Um got to spend a lot of time with our grandbaby there. Got to spend some time with our grandbaby this past weekend, and we had her for a couple of nights. And uh she is she is a double barrel shotgun all day and all night. And if she doesn't take a nap, it's it's wide open and there's just there's no off button with her. No. She is she's fun. She's like her her honey and her mama. There is no off button. Uh they finally fight it until they go to sleep. But uh anyway. So hey, we are gonna talk this morning about respecting your spouse. And man, this for me is such an important topic. Because uh y you want to tell how this came about?

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Well, I think this came about because I saw something on Facebook, and I'm not gonna give too much detail. I saw something on Facebook, and I saw all the men that I knew putting fire emojis on this post, and I was like, married, married, married, don't know you. I think I know who you are. I don't know if you're married anymore. Married, married, and I told you, I said, look at this is some something else. Like, this is crazy. And we were talking about this because I know me. And I know if I saw you putting a fire emoji, let's just say that it's a lady, just a lady, she's by herself, she's in a swimsuit on her patio, saying summer 24, like whatever, and I saw that you put a fire emoji on that. This is what would happen. I would text you and I would say, Hey, I saw on Facebook that you love fire. I'm gonna go live in five minutes, check it out. So I'm gonna go live, and what we're gonna see is we're gonna see me putting all your running shoes, all your workout shoes, all your workout clothes in the yard. I'm gonna light them on fire and I'm gonna put three fire emojis, because three must be the magic number. And I'm gonna say, I saw that you have fire. Here you go. That's that's probably what I would do. And I I mean, people are like, oh, she's being funny. No, I'm not I'm really not.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

No, she's not. I'm really not being a big thing. You don't know her, she is not being funny.

SPEAKER_03 5:32

I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

No, she's not.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

And so like I don't even think and like here's the deal. I know that you see women on your Instagram, on your Facebook. Yeah. Never never seen them. You don't even you're so blind. Absolutely. Just absolutely blinded. Blinders of the Lord. Yeah, when some but but I know you also to know that you would not do that.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

No.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Some of it's because uh of just your own whatever, but there's probably part of it that said, uh-uh, she would kill me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Well not only, yeah, I mean th th there's two this you're right, there's two parts. There's parts that I'm not gonna do it, but there's also the part that I'm a little scared of you. Um, you know, because I I I I grew up in the 80s. Uh I remember Lena Lorraine Bobbitt, and um I'm not really looking to make uh uh, you know, uh a second uh a sequel to that. So uh I I'm a little scared of you at times because, you know, as as pretty and as cute and as fun as you are, there's there's an element of crazy too. Uh you know, couldn't be. But we but we're gonna talk a little more about that. Um but let's just talk about respecting your spouse. Yeah. You know, because it is important. If you disrespect your spouse, that is not uh it's just not number one, it's not a good plan. You're an idiot if you disrespect your spouse. And I and and I've been an idiot before, because I've done it. But disrespecting your spouse is just not a good plan. Because it does not give you uh I I can tell you now, if I disrespect you, I don't think you got a warm fuzzy toward me. I don't think you look at me and you think, oh my God, I love him. Look how look mm, look at him. You think uh uh boy, I don't like you. And you just disrespected me. And I think that that has become so common uh in marriage that we just disrespect each other. You know?

SPEAKER_03 7:23

Yeah, and I don't think you know, you're saying if it you're an idiot if you do that, which is a little strong. Because I think sometimes we can just do it. I think some of the things we can do to disrespect each other are things that we just don't you know, we don't we don't think about.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

I'm not saying that everything you think about.

SPEAKER_03 7:38

I'm talking about if you specifically disrespect your You know, one of the one of the things we were just talking about different things, ways you can disrespect your because you know we talk about marriage a lot. Marriage is very important to us. But you know, one of the ways that you can disrespect your spouse is by you know is by hiding things, not you know, not keeping secrets, not telling things, but you know, also hiding physical things. I I see it. I don't know if they're joking, but you see a lot of um, you know, reels and and TikToks about women hiding purchases from their husband or um I don't know if this is true, but it was a comment I saw one time that a woman kept a sharpie marker in her in her car and when she would buy products that she would mark through all the price tags and write like it was a clearance with a red a red marker on there so that he thought that everything she got was you know was on sale. But you know, hiding things, if if not telling the tr the truth about situations, you know, um, you know, I didn't why are you not working this week? Well they they laid me off. Well, no, they sent you home for a week because you kept messing with a bunch of women or you were, you know, showing up late every day. Right. Or, you know, I know with me that the what has happened sometimes with hiding things is the kids tell me not to tell you stuff. Don't tell dad. I mean it. Do not tell him, you know, and um they know.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Well they know I'm usually gonna You usually you're usually good for one day. And because I'll I'll say what's wrong with you? What's going on? Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Like, okay. Next day, like I said, what's going on? And you'll find, well, I'm not supposed to tell you. And she'll tell me. But hey, uh on the converse of that, I I do that too. Because I I handle and it's not because I'm chauvinistic, it's just because that's what our role is, that's what I do. I handle all of the our bills and our, you know, business stuff. And and so like if I know you're having a bad day, or maybe maybe you just, you know, something's not going right, and I get popped in the face with something, I I choose not to tell you. And it's it it it can be disrespectful. But I I'll wait maybe till the next morning to say, Hey, I didn't want to tell you last night. And we've had this conversation.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

I didn't want to tell you last night because but here, you know, Yeah, when we got hit with that extra tax bill that they dug up from s went back and redid our taxes. And I remember that was one of the things you said, I don't want to tell you last night. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

I didn't want to tell you at all. It just makes you a little sick to your stomach when they say, Hey, you know, uh this, I need we need it's gonna and I'm like, Oh my gosh, you know. Yeah. And so for me, I didn't I don't do that stuff to hurt you, but but I but I but sitting here thinking, just being honest, it just occurred to me. I need to give you the respect of being my wife and let you handle and process whatever the information is in your way, in your moment, and quit trying to protect you and say, you know what, you're an adult too. We've been together 34 years. I'm gonna trust you that you you will handle this information how you need to handle it. And you're usually pretty good about processing information. It pisses you off sometimes. But then all of a sudden you're like, okay, then you can process. So it it just occurred to me, I'm gonna quit doing that. I'm gonna tell you all the bad stuff right before we go to the code.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

I didn't say I need to know all the bad stuff, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

But you don't hide things.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

Yeah, I don't and and and lie, which it goes hand in hand, you know, not you know, lying. Lying is you know, and and um garnishing the truth or not telling all the truth is sometimes the same thing as a lie, but not not lying. Just about whatever it is, not not belittling. And I know that you know that that's that's something that aggravates you sometimes is like how the men are portrayed on social media sometimes as the dummy because he can't ever find anything. And we can't. Well, I was gonna say, you know how I feel about that. You were looking for your shoes, and you went out to every car, and all I did was go over and crane my head forward three inches, and they were sitting right there in your gym bag. Your gym shoes were sitting in your gym bag. It's crazy. It's crazy, crazy, crazy.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

I believe that you put those there.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Yeah, and that's what you'll say sometimes. You'll walk around with something like literally right in front of you and say, that was not there. Well, yeah, it was. But so I know that it does frustrate you though sometimes, like how men get belittled and whatever. And I know our our kids, we have four kids, and they will sometimes like just choose to um like all kind of and they they're being funny, but jump on you about something and it drives you it drives you crazy if they, you know, because we have different work roles sometimes, they'll they'll say, you know, you don't and they for a while would tell you that you didn't work. That don't do anything. That that don't work.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

And I'm thinking, you know what, I'll quit paying the bills and y'all see what dad does. That's what you always say.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

I'll stop doing everything I do and y'all see what I do.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Y'all will go to jail because you didn't pay your sales tax, you'll go you'll you'll be bankrupt because you a and and you'll be shut down. But but uh but but yeah, and that honestly i i it is a high button about about you know, don't belittle don't belittle people. And you know, here's the thing, ladies, uh for a guy, he will rise to the level of encouragement or he'll shrink to it. And if you think he's the village idiot and you treat him that way and you talk about him in that way, guess what he's gonna become? He'll become the village idiot. But if you think for a moment that he's capable, you think for a moment he can do this, he can. And and I go back to this. Um I I and this is maybe a weird parallel, but this is this is how I think, okay? My dad has always been a source of of needing encouragement from him for me. I've always needed my approval from my dad, always. Because I've always felt like I've let him down or screwed it up, and I've always needed that from him. And so we were at Ole Miss Ballgame uh when Eli Manning was playing, they were playing Alabama, it was raining cats and dogs, and I was broke on food stamps in college with four kids, and didn't have hardly a dime to my name. And we sat in that stadium that day, and and it was I can't remember the name of the the field, but he said, Maybe one day your name will be there. And I thought it just sent rockets off in me. Because I thought for the first time in my life, this man thinks I'm capable. And that that's how strong words of encouragement are to men, not only from their father, but from their wife. And so if you belittle this person, or you you you know, my man don't make enough, or or my man can't provide, or my you listen, it really does something to the psyche of a man, and so you have to work through that. But I'll say this too. Hey guys, don't belittle your wife. You know, I I a term I hate is this my old lady. I can't stand that. I've seen a 25-year-old man, this is my old lady. Well, no, it's not. It's your 24-year-old beautiful young wife. Quit worrying about what your mom and daddy used to call each other and quit belittling her. Yeah. Then eat your old lady. And so don't belittle your wife either. You know, encourage her. Tell her she looks beautiful. If she dresses up for you and y'all go somewhere, man, I'm talking about applaud her. Tell her, ah, you look great tonight. I can't quit looking at you. I don't even know what we're eating tonight because you look at don't belittle and degrade her. If she gets her hair cut, hey guys, notice. You know what I'm saying? If she goes, even if you can't notice, you you like my hair? Absolutely like your hair. Have no clue what it looks like or what they did, but I love it. So don't belittle, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:29

Right. Ignoring feelings. That's that's interesting. Sometimes, you know, it's just ignoring it and and I guess it's devaluing feelings that, you know, I know sometimes as women we get kind of written off that we're always emotional or we've always are in our feels or we've always got a mood going on, or or you know, what kind of mood are you in today, or what w which personality? That was a joke for a little while. You would ask me, like, which personality are you today? Which I didn't think that was that funny most of the time.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

It's pretty funny to be. But it was fun to to poke fun at you.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

Yeah, so you're belittling me is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Exactly right.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

But um, you know, just don't don't ignore feelings. Sometimes, you know, if your spouse is pouring their heart out to you, just just listen, just lean in and and listen and and hear what they're saying. Give them undivided attention and hear what they're saying.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Well but it's not easy to do. You and you're right, because we talked about that, is that women for the most part, okay? Not everybody, but for the most part, women seem to be a little more emotional than men. Men are utilitarian, it is what it is. Most of the time it's black and white. If you just do this, you could fix your life. You know what I mean? We're fixers by the nature. Most of us are. Uh you're a fixer, which is which is weird for a woman, but you're a fixer. Anyway. I don't think so. No. I think I don't think that's weird for a woman to be a fixer. Well, you like to fix me. That's weird. I don't like to be fixed. But but I but you ignore their feelings. We we talked what was the book you were telling me about yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Oh my gosh, that was the craziest thing. The girls sent it to me, and this is this to me, this is one of those things. It's crazy. It's crazy, crazy. So they sent me this um it was three screenshots of this lady on Instagram, and she said that she's they're they're trying something new in their marriage. And I'll just I'm gonna tell it to you how she said it. So she said that they were sitting outside and they had been grilling with friends, and she said to her husband, Can I have your permission to have another beer? And he said, Yes. And because she asked permission, he leapt up to get it. And that's something new they're doing in her marriage, is that she is now asking his permission for everything. May I have extra potatoes tonight? May I? And it's to me that concept is so wild. But I had to go look for the book because I want to I like to know, like I want to hear all of it. I want to know how to do that.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

What's the name of the book?

SPEAKER_03 18:05

The name of the book is irresistible.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

Irresistible femininity.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

Yeah, and it's talking about polarity, and I had to I had to like figure out what polarity was because my mind wasn't going there for a second. But it's it is talking about the polarity of a male and a female and how you know men want to conquer something and they want to feel like the provider and the protector. I agree with all that. So that's why I listened to a sample of this audiobook, I think it's audiobook, because I I want to know, okay, but girl, how girlfriend, how did you arrive though that you've got to ask him, can I have some extra macaroni? Like, I need to know how we got there. But he was uh but the the first part of the book he was talking about valuing his wife's feelings. And you're like, well, I can go with him there. I'm like, well, that's that's where it stops, buddy, because we ain't going down the rest of the road.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

But yeah. You need to ask if you can have some more macaroni in there. I shall not. But but no, but but you're right. It goes back to uh not ignoring their feelings. Because I'm just I'm I'm gonna be a man here. I am going to be a man. You're right. Sometimes there's so much emotion with with females, is that sometimes a man will say, Oh my God, here we go again. And men who are listening, if you're honest, you've said that. It's like you it's not that you're wanting to hear your spouse and validate their feelings, it's that you're thinking, Oh my god, here we go again. How long do I have to listen to this crap before I can move on to something else? But being disrespectful to your spouse is ignoring the feeling. Because I will tell you this there are times where you're emotional, but then there's times to where you're real in your emotions. There's there's a difference of being emotional and being real in your emotion. And I if I don't stop and listen to whatever it is you're telling me, I can miss something really important by being disrespectful and ignoring your feelings.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

Well, and I think you have to learn to to also figure out, okay, which is this just a is this a bad day talking and I just need to sit here and listen, or is this something real like what that's that's coming? And you you know me well enough to know sometimes there's there's different things. Like I said, I'm pretty steady. If I am very emotional and it's not serious, I'm normally exhausted. And that's something I've been I've been dealing with just being exhausted lately. And my wonderful Jesse is helping me when we're trying to figure out how to get me back on track. But if I am very, very exhausted, that's when I am very emotional. And and I can be, it can be mad, it can be sad, it can be all the things, or hungry, that's a whole other thing. But sometimes I'm really telling you something serious. And so I you have to also just learn to like, you know, do do I help, do I interject, or do I does she just need to vent? Because it's a day. Yeah. It's just been one of those days. The kids are crazy, the work is crazy, everything is crazy, and they just need to get out those things. But you just don't walk away or tune them out. You do have to value, value that. And same thing with with men, you know, if and and I know if a man opens up and tells you anything, you better tune in because men do not do that near as much as as a woman will. If a man shares something with you, you've gotta you gotta put down the phone, put down everything, and stop and listen.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Absolutely. And not ignore their feelings. Well, and and so let's move forward. But I, you know, I think that you know, disrespecting people is even like not want to go spend time with their family. You know, they're not your family. I don't want to go spend time with your family. I don't like your mama. Uh I do like my mother-in-law, but I I don't like your mama. I don't want to go spend time with her. Uh you know, I think that's disrespectful too, because you married into that family. That's her family or his family, and you need to be part of that family as well.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

Yeah, and you see that sometimes sons, sons-in-laws or daughter in laws that never go around, they're never at family functions. They, you know, they don't ever I I've told your mother you know, I always feel bad. You always go see your mother when I have something to do, and I always tell your mother, like, I'm not just sitting home choosing not to come. He chose to come, you know, when I'm gonna go. I was gone or had something going on. But yeah, I mean that is that is your family too. And it's, you know, and it's respectful to, you know, to go to the family functions, to go to Sunday dinner, to do, you know, whatever it is. And gosh, I know family vacations together, that's a whole other thing. My son-in-laws have to just take one for the team sometime and go with us because I know it's I know it's a lot. Like I know, I know we're a lot, and I know it's a lot. We're gonna be good.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:26

And we're gonna laugh and we're gonna be loud.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

They're married to our daughters, which is already a lot.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

And then you compound it by adding the six francs together. Uh it gets wild.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

But but Yeah, my son said he was trying to describe to somebody at work what our family's like, and they and he kept telling it all, and they said, So you so you're y'all are Italian? He's like, No, we're not Italian.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

But it's a similar concept, yeah. Yeah. Because it's listen, uh, at our family functions, it is uh eat or be eat. Yeah, eat or be eat. And you better jump in there and go. And so I it's disrespectful though, if you're just like, I'm not spending time with your family. Uh, you know, I think the other thing I like this one, and we talked about this this morning, is not making uh decisions unilaterally. Uh I told you my favorite post on Facebook, and I may get a spanking for this one, but my favorite post on Facebook is I bought my baby a truck, and it's got mama out there in front of this huge SUV. And like I applaud that. I'm I'm I'm cool with that, but my first thought is not man, she got a nice truck. My first thought is I wonder if he discussed with her that he was going to obligate them to a thousand dollars a month for 72 months by buying mama a truck and she's gonna have to work more and he's gonna have to work more to to make a unilateral decision. Yeah. And uh we and you making you can correct me, okay? Like I said, you're you're welcome to say, nope, you're lying on this podcast. We generally don't go out and make large, large purchases uh without talking to each other. Now, there is some leeway there, okay? Uh we we we may buy, you know, I I I I bought you something the other day, you know, and and you know, there's a certain amount that we'll spend or do something for the other one. But I'm not going and buying you because I you've seen those new Lexus GX or the T T X. Yeah. Man, those bad boys are fine. But I am not going to buy one of those, especially without you having a discussion with it. Yeah. We're not doing that. So you don't make unilateral decisions. That that really gets into to be a problematic.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

And that can be just not even finances, that can be, you know, anything, even plans. We try to check with each other and not just make plans for for the other one. Um That's right.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Because one of us is one of us is psycho about a calendar.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

Yeah, that's me. Yeah. But I always hope, I've got to check my calendar and I gotta check with Brad. Like I can't I'm not just gonna sign you up with me for anything, you know, and everything, but just uh decisions with the kids, make those unilaterally. Well, you try though.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

You try to sign me up for stuff, and I'm like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

Well, you sign me up. We sign each other up for different stuff.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

We're gonna we're gonna go on this double date with this couple, and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no. I don't want to talk to him all night. Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

You're terrible. No, no, some of the other things that we were talking about are things that I struggle with, not interrupting and not talking over them. I just uh I struggle with that, and you'll tell me. Like you'll you'll say, okay. So since, you know, I wasn't I wasn't done or stop. And it's just in some of it's my my um yapping personality. But yeah, I know, but it it it is. I mean it's as small as it may seem, it is a a respect thing if if you can't ever let your partner what is it, get a get a word in edgewise. I don't know what edgewise means. That's just something we say. I've never heard edgewise used in my whole life except with that. Can't get a word in edgewise. I don't know what edgewise means.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

I'm gonna find out what edgewise means. But but you know, the the thing is is that if you were in a professional environment, you're not as apt to talk over somebody or be disrespectful and interrupt. You still might interrupt something, because I mean you're just uh the what you call yourself a yapper. Yeah. You know, your your granddaughter's a yapper, your daughter's a yapper. But uh let's finish up with what we started. Yeah. When do you fire emoji on social media?

SPEAKER_03 26:17

And the answer is if you're married, the fire emoji should be used for food, it should be used for fitness, it should be used for faith, it should not be used for females or males who uh uh are hot as in I'm gonna use the fire emoji because you are hot.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

H O T, baby.

SPEAKER_03 26:43

Because you know, I was uh we were talking about this and I said, here's the thing. We've got so you said this about being comfortable. What was it you were saying?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Well, we're we're comfortable behind a screen. We're real comfortable behind a screen, and and you know, like what was the old saying? Say it to my face.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

We're comfortable behind a screen. I mean, I can I can keyboard stroke away, and there's very little repercussion from that versus me publicly doing or saying something. So we've gotten comfortable behind a screen.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

So, you know, fire mate emoji means you're fine, you're hot, like whatever, like I'm girl, like wish you was whatever, you know. Um but how many times if we're talking about people that are married and respecting our spouse, how many times would you say that to their face?

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

If you know, if I if somebody at my gym is got their shirt off and they're all cut up and I put a fire emoji on them, how awkward would it be to I'm married, right? To walk up to them and say, Man, you're hot. Like that's more than likely never gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:48

Same thing with, you know, if you lost your mind and did that, you know, you're not gonna walk up to that woman and say, We're hot. We're fine. And even tearing it a step further, you sure would never say it in front of me to that, to that person, but we're so comfortable saying, you know, putting the big eyes or the fire emojis or all these things, just disrespecting our spouse because like I said, you wouldn't say it in front of your front of your spouse.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

No, I mean, and and you may kill me for saying this, but like you see a woman on there, a guy says, I want to motivo you. Well, you're never say that to her in public. You would I mean and again, everybody's like, oh my God, you but you're not gonna say that kind of stuff. You know, we and but but let's be honest. People put stuff on social media because they want to be uh uh adored. Yesterday, remember the post I showed you? Oh, yeah. I I'm in a fitness group, it's fifty over fitness, and I'm just gonna be honest with you, I probably need to get out of there because it's usually a bunch of men showing their muscles and like I may have a muscle or two, but you know, I don't really I'm not putting my picture on there. Hi, I just want to introduce myself with my shirt off and my abs. Hi. Uh there was a woman on there yesterday, and I'm a dude. Listen, I I I'm I'm a dude. She had on thongs and laying by the pool. A swimsuit, yeah. Swimsuit. Swimsuit. Swimsuit thongs. Very little swimsuit, yeah. And it was hundreds of fire emojis and comments. I saw her butt. Okay, it's not hard not to see it. But her post was what got me. She was tired from being with her four-year-old and six-year-old grandkids on weekend, and she was taking some time to relax as she was posing sexually by the pool with her thongs on. I don't really think she was talking about her grandkids because not one person said, What are your grandkids' names? Yeah. Nobody cared about her grandkids. Everybody thought, fire emoji. Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, but but you said this yesterday. Uh if if a woman's hot, okay, if you see a woman's hot, you're not gonna post a fire emoji when she's winning in a picture with her husband and say and say, At Tiffany, fire emoji, you know, because at Brad is gonna say, where are you at? Yeah. And so you're not gonna do that. And so we've gotten comfortable doing that. And it and it's listen, it is disrespectful to your spouse to ogle the other, the other type person.

SPEAKER_03 30:13

Well, and the other thing too is think about you, you know, even on all these respect things, think about what you're teaching your kids. If you've still got kids that are watching you, how you treat your spouse, you know, if your son saw you putting a fire emoji on another woman's picture that's in a in a thong, like it would that'd be that'd be a big deal for them. It'd be embarrassing for them, but it would also be a big deal for them of showing, showing them, oh, he's not serious, he doesn't respect my mom at all. Or you know, or my mom doesn't respect my dad, even some of these other things, you know. Just be be respectful because remember, your kids are watching you when it comes to marriage. You one day when you're celebrating a 50th anniversary, your kids are gonna make a speech. And they're gonna either say, Mom and daddy fought all the time, they couldn't stand each other, I don't even know why they stayed married, or they're gonna say, you know, uh uh what I a lot of the things I learned about marriage were from watching my mom and dad. So which one is it gonna be?

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Right.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Yeah, and and and you you say about your kids, if I put a fire emoji on a woman's even and and we even talked about following certain accounts and certain people.

SPEAKER_03 31:12

Um I think you do need to get that yeah, I think you need to get that.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

And that that's fine. I I'm just saying, but but you know, there there's a crossfitter that we all we talked about uh in and so people don't follow her because she lifts weights, they follow her because she got a big badonkadonk.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

And and they like it. And but I don't follow that account. I've seen it. I I've seen her on the side.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

You're aware of who she is.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

I'm aware of her bedonka donk, but I don't want to be disrespectful and follow those type accounts because I don't want you to see my name associated with them. Okay? But but it goes back to the kids seeing that. And I'm gonna f uh we we can finish here with this, but uh or or what else here. But I I wish people happy birthday on Facebook sometimes. You know, I uh if I if if I know you well, I'll text you uh or I'll wish you happy birthday or whatever on Facebook. But um I don't even know how I got it. You remember uh what what is it called?

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Maybe called I don't know if it's it's not the memoji. Maybe it is. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Is it the Memojis where you you and you've seen them on Facebook, you may do them. And I it's not nothing against it, but like they're giving somebody a cake and somebody's going like, oh my goodness, you know, it's it's that that two people on the Memoji. I didn't even know I had that connected to my Facebook account. So like I'm sending people happy birthday on Facebook, and somehow or another, like to to women that I know, just you know, friends or people that we know, like it looks like I'm just being like overly whatever with this cake and this whatever. It's a little hearts around the front. And like I didn't know I was doing that until I think one of our kids said, uh, hey dad, what are you doing? This is weird. And I said, What are you talking about? I just wished them a happy birthday. And they sent me like this screenshot and I was like, Oh my gosh. Because even in that, like that for me, I didn't want to be disrespectful to you. So I immediately figured out how to get that memoji stuff taken off because I may wish somebody uh a lady a happy birthday, and it don't mean I want to go have sex with her, but it just looks weird. You know what I'm saying? And so uh that's the thing is that respect goes a long way.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

And you know, if there's somebody that's putting in hard work, and there was something I saw on Facebook that somebody was like they had a picture of themselves and say, I've put in a lot of hard work. Instead of the fire emoji as a man say, Hey, go show that to your wife and say, Hey, me and my wife, whoever, we were talking and like we really appreciate your hard work. Yeah. Like, hey, I'm all for that. But all the other stuff, I just don't, yeah. I can't I can't go with you there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

I want to s I want to say the other one we talked about yesterday about that you could you could say that that person fire emoji, but you wouldn't let me put a fire emoji on that other person. Do you want me to say that or not? Come on.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

No, I do not. It was just a young guy, and I was just like, he's a young kid, but I would never ever because I don't look at it in that way at all, but I said, but I would never ever do that because that's the thing, is it's just not it's just not right and disrespectful.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

So And I think it comes back to this is that you may put all that stuff on social media, but do you tell your spouse those things? You know, do you ever put a fire emoji under your wife whenever she is she has put a picture of herself out there and you're like, man, she's fine. Or do you do you do those things? Because it's important not only to be not disrespectful to your spouse, but it's important to be respectful and communicate to your spouse, hey, I love you, I'm committed to you, I I'm gonna work through these things. I may have put some fire emojis under some women's posts lately, but I'm going to quit doing that. And I'm going to undo those things because I love you and I respect you and I respect our relationship. And you are more important than somebody on social media that that I I just want to look at.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

So uh any any any important thoughts uh about respecting your spouse or fire emojis or going to your mother-in-law's or anything like that.

SPEAKER_03 35:05

That's it. Because everything uh you know when we talk about it's just a just it's just a it's you know it's not a condemnation because we've made so many mistakes. It's just things to like help you be better. Because marriage is supposed to be great. You know, you're supposed to be married to your best friend, your partner, your teammate, and all these things are team building exercise. If you're a team, these are team building exercises. That's all they are.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

That's it. That's it. That's it in a nutshell. Hey guys, thank you so much for listening this morning. Uh we we are we thank you for that. Give us a five-star review. If you don't think we need a five-star review, shoot me a message and tell me why. But I we encourage you to just to to uh review us if you can't. Share the information with other people that that like podcasts. We love you, we thank you. Hey, listen, if you want to get in the flow of life, you need to find people who are going the direction you want to go and hop in there. So we encourage you to do so. Thank you for listening, and we'll be talking to you soon.